"Risk"

Yes, that is the word that has been spoken to me by FOUR different people on FOUR completely seperate occasions in the last 2 weeks!

-The first time, I took it into thought...but definitely didn't seek it out any further.

- The second time, I thought "hmmmm, okay, what is this?" (allowing myself to become more open to the thought.)

- The third time, I was at FULL ATTENTION....yes, okay, this is a word for me! I get it!

- And than today in Sunday School class, when the 4th person spoke "risk" to me, I just had to laugh in amazement. Just in case I didn't quite get it the first 3x, the Lord saw fittin' to put it out there one more time for good measure! haha.

Well, I FINALLY brought the "R" word to the Lord TODAY during my time with Him (what can I say...I'm hard-headed!) I sat out by "the waters" (our condo pool), and responded to Him by journaling my uncertainty of what exactly He was asking of me. Risk what? Risk where? Risk with who? I found myself hesitant to ask Him to reveal it to me! I wasn't sure if I wanted to know! Why? Because, risk means stepping out in uncomfortable waters, risk means forsaking what might be logical with your mind and choosing to walk in faith, risk means putting yourself in a place where you are vulnerable. What it boils down to is that "risk" = UNCERTAINTY! The door began to open to fear and I had to IMMEDIATELY confess it to the Lord to give the enemy NO GROUND on my land! A friend spoke a word of truth over me right at that very moment (thank you Lord!) as I was feeling the oppressive hand of the enemy - to say "but Kim if God is speaking it to you so intensely. Its gonna be so good...SOOO good".

Yes! YES! I receive it! Lord, your Word says you have GOOD plans for me - to prosper me, to give me a hope and a future (Jeremiah 29:11). Let me not be afraid of your will and the plans and the purpose you have for my life! Lord, I beg you, let me be afraid of NOT doing your will and missing out on YOU and the plans and purpose your have for me on this earth! Help me to let go of uncertainty, fear, disbelief, and comfort...and grab onto You with both my hands and GO where you are leading me!

Lord - THIS I KNOW:

ANYTHING you ask me to give up for Your namesake, God, YOU WILL replace it with something far more amazing and wonderful and good (whether on this earth, or when I am in heaven).

ANYPLACE you call me to go or ANYTHING you call me to do - YOU WILL be with me! And YOU are faithful!

You led Moses and the Israelites to the edge of the red sea - to a place of absolute surrender! IN FAITH (help me have that kind of faith, Lord!) they stepped into the waters, and YOU MOVED!! They passed through the Red Sea on DRY ground. They saw YOU and experienced YOUR power. They witnessed a MIRACLE right before their eyes as you intervened for your children. I believe you will do the same for me Lord! I believe that anytime you ask me to "take a risk" and step out in complete faith and trust YOU that YOU WILL meet me there! You will show Yourself to me in a greater way than I know now! You will allow me to experience a greater depth of Your power than I know now! You will allow me to witness a miracle in my own life by your intervention on my behalf! I want it Lord! I do!

Holy Spirit, give me courage, give me boldness, give me strength, give me faith to do the will of the Father!!! I know that it is GOD who empowers me with His incomparably great power (Ephesians 1:19). He not only calls, He equips, He empowers, and best of all.....He goes with me!! Thank you Lord!!

I was thinking back over the fears I mentioned above that I had of "risking" and the Lord showed me His TRUTH in regards to those fears:

(1) Stepping out in uncomfortable waters

"DO NOT FEAR, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name; you are Mine! "When you pass THROUGH the waters, I will be with you; And THROUGH the rivers, they will not overflow you. When you walk THROUGH the fire, you will not be scorched, Nor will the flame burn you." ~ Isaiah 43:1-2

*Thank you Lord for your promise to bring me THROUGH any trial...that you will NOT leave me or forsake me in the middle. Thank you Lord for your promise to be WITH ME. For though I walk THROUGH the valley of the shadow of death, I fear NO evil...why? because YOU ARE WITH ME! It is YOUR rod and YOUR staff that comfort me!

(2) Forsaking what might be logical with MY mind

"However, as it is written: "No eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind has conceived what God has prepared for those who love him" ~ 1 Cor 2:9

*Lord, let not my mind and its limited understanding hinder me from experiencing you and your plans for me in its fullness!

(3) Putting myself in a place of vulnerability

"Be strong and courageous, DO NOT BE AFRAID or tremble at them, for the Lord your God is the one who goes with you He will not fail you or forsake you....The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. DO NOT BE AFRAID; do not be discouraged."" ~ Deut 31:6, 8

"For the Lord will go before you, And the God of Israel will be your rear guard." ~ Is 52:12b

*Thank you Lord that You go BEFORE me, that You go WITH me, that You go BEHIND me. Even when you call me to a place of vulnerability - I am not alone! Though people or things of this world may fail me, You promise that YOU will not fail me or forsake me. I cling to that promise!

I, still, am not any closer to knowing WHAT God is calling me to risk in...but I trust He will reveal it to me in His time. I am thankful He is preparing me, that He is faithful to speak this Word over me, that He is fighting FOR me, and that He is imparting His truth into me to strengthen my faith to press on towards the prize!

Bottom line: No matter what He calls me to risk - IT WILL BE WORTH IT!

Zambia Mission Support Letter

Dear Family and Friends,

It is with a FULL heart that I write to share some joyous news with you! For more than 8 years now, I have had a PASSIONATE desire to go on a mission trip to Africa. I cannot even begin to describe with adequate words the depth of the longing inside I have had for this country. It is with absolute praise and exultation that I tell you that God in His sweet grace and perfect providence has opened the door for me to go to Zambia for 2 weeks this June!! And I can honestly say that God’s answer to my prayer is MORE THAN ENOUGH for me, but God in His love and amazing wonder continues to pour out His blessings upon me. For you see, God not only faithfully went before me and prepared a place for me in Africa, but He has also brought to fulfillment another desire of my heart that He has birthed in me to serve, love on, and expend myself on orphaned children. My soul echoes back to Him shouts of “Yes, Lord, Yes!” The timing of this trip cannot be any sweeter too - as I will be celebrating my 32nd birthday in Zambia surrounded by my sweet children’s faces that the Lord has entrusted to me for a short season. It truly feels like He is giving me the best birthday present I could ever imagine! My eyes well up with tears now as I am reflecting on His goodness. I am absolutely overwhelmed by Him!

I would love to share with you more information about the ministry that I will be partnering with as well as give you a visual picture of how we will be serving Him in Zambia in Jesus’ name:

Zambia is a landlocked country located in the south central Africa. Zambia has a little over 11 million people in it, but a full 1 million of these people, are in fact, children who have been orphaned due to the ravages of AIDS and other poverty-related diseases. The U.N. says that Zambia has the highest per capita orphan rate in the world, and although Zambia is some 10,000 miles aware and seemingly forgotten, these children are ever before the heart of God. And as such, God has now laid that burden on my heart.

I will be going to minister the first 2 weeks of June in the orphanages of Zambia through an organization called Family Legacy Missions International based in Dallas, Texas. Family Legacy Missions International (FLMI) is a federally qualified, tax-exempt public charity whose mission is to alleviate the suffering of children on the other side of the world in Africa, while bringing the Good News of the Kingdom of God to them. We will be working directly with the orphans each day: playing games, teaching Bible lessons, singing songs, and just plain hugging and loving the kids (I can’t wait!!!). Everyday, we will bus all the orphan children into a giant recreation facility and give them an incredible day of sports, food, fun, and love – all in the name of Jesus!

Yes, I am writing you today to ask you to prayerfully consider partnering with me on this incredible investment for eternity. First and foremost, I VALUE your prayers for our team and those whose lives will be touched by God through us. Without inquiring of the Lord and seeking Him diligently, we will fail in our efforts to impact Zambia for His name sake. I FIRMLY believe that God answers prayers, and I am asking you to pray for the logistics of this trip: safety, smooth travel, good health, financial support; pray for me: that I would become more and more sensitive to the Spirit, that my heart would become His, that His Word would fall fresh on me during my times before His throne; and most of all pray for each and every one of those precious children that will step foot on the camp ground. May that ground be declared HOLY for God Himself is dwells there! May they see Him through eyes of faith and know Him as God their Savior!

Beyond your prayers, if you are led to join me by financially supporting this mission, I would be incredibly thankful. The total cost for this trip is $4,100 and I need to raise it in its entirety by April 15th or I will not be able to go. I know that does not give me much time, but God is not bound by time! Amen! I am trusting in, leaning on, and confidently hoping in the Lord to meet all my needs according to His glorious riches! This cost not only includes covering my expenses, but a portion also provides for t-shirts, food, and supplies to over 10,000 orphans so they can attend camp this summer, as well as transportation, food, and salary expenses for 150 Zambia workers (our drivers, translators, etc). Please know that any expenses that occur “off the mission field” so to speak (sightseeing, shopping, etc) is covered completely by me and is not included in the money needed to be raised.

Thank you so much for your consideration to partner with me prayerfully and financially as I journey to Zambia, Africa in Jesus’ name to declare the Good News of Jesus Christ. I look forward to seeing God move in a mighty, powerful way in my life and in the lives of my team and in the lives of our sweet orphaned children. To God be ALL THE GLORY forever and ever!

Blessings!

Kim Smith =)

www.legacymissions.org

The Easter Dress Dilemma!

Every year since I was a little girl, my mom would buy my sister and I an Easter dress to wear to church. Well...a few weeks before Easter, my mom came and picked me up and took me to the Galleria to shop. After 3 hours of shopping, I had no Easter dress. Mission failed! Oh well...I thought. I will just wear something I already have.

Now, fast forward to the Saturday before Easter. I was laying on the couch (I had been sick with the worst sore throat and headache for the past few days).....and I decided I would run up to Memorial City Mall real quick and see I could find a dress for Easter. I went by White House Black Market (one of my absolute favs!) and sure enough the Lord had gone before me as I found the perfect dress! Glory! I was feeling too yucky to go crusing up and down the mall trying on dresses. I bought it, and headed back home to the couch.

When I walked in the door, my roommate was back from her shopping excursion with her sister. Her sister needed a graduation dress, and Danielle decided she needed an Easter dress. After hearing about her sister's dress from Anthropologie, I asked Danielle where she got her Easter dress. "White House Black Market". My stomach dropped. "Uhhh...me too!", "Is it white, tank sleeves, with black pattern?" Her sister started to giggle. Danielle got up and headed toward her room, she came back out with MY EASTER DRESS! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! hahaha. Of all the dresses, in all the stores, in all the mall....she had to walk into my store and get my dress. hahaha. What can I say, she has good taste! =) I decided that I would attend the early service, and she can go to the later service as she had planned to. Whew. Problem solved.

Well...I ended up sleeping in on Sunday (because of the medicine I was taking at night) so I HAD to go to the later service. Uh oh! Danielle didn't care if we both wore the same dress, but since we were walking over to church together, sitting together, and going to lunch together. I vetoed that idea. I dug into my closet and found another cute dress (from White and Black of course!). I had thought it was a strapless dress and didn't feel comfortable wearing that to church, but quickly discovered it had detachable straps! YES! The Lord is good!

Danielle and I ended up looking so cute in our Easter dresses. We had to take a picture - it now sits framed in the living room! =)

Next year, we will have to communicate better beforehand! hahaha.

Baby Steps to the Blog World

The title makes me think of Bill Murray in "What about Bob?" - "Baby steps to get on the elevator....baby steps to get on the elevator...Ah, I'm on the elevator. [Doors close] AHHHHH!" hahaha. That movie is so funny. "I'm saaailing. I'm saaailing." OK, I'll stop. =)

Well...after YEARS of refusing to join in on the blogging world (other than being the occasional lurker - ok, ok, a regular lurker) - I have officially become a blog owner. Now, usually, when you become an owner there is much JOY and CELEBRATION - like when I became an owner of my first car, my condo, my sweet yorkie (that ownership was quickly transferred to my mom - long story short she brainwashed my dog), my Seven jeans (it was a glorious day! haha). But owning this blog - mmmmmm not so much joy and excitement! Yet. BUT, I'm believing God for it. =)

Let me explain my hesistation to owning a blog, and my reasons for refusal for so long. Here is my rationale:

Reason #1 - I am NOT a writer!!

I am SO NOT that person that can just sit down at a computer or open up a page of my journal and watch the words just jump onto the screen/page. Nope. Not even close to me. Me? Me is, staring at the computer screen. Staring some more. Type a sentence out. Stare at sentence. Ummm...nope not exactly what I want to say. Backspace, backspace, backspace. REPEAT. About 30 minutes later, I may have a few sentences completed. haha. It just doesn't flow fluidly for me on paper/screen.

I am a TALKER! I am so much more of a "let's grab dinner and talk" kind of gal! I love to "meet" with people and ENGAGE in conversation. I love sharing life, laughing, being silly, talking about our weeks, what we are learning from God, what we are struggling with. I want to be able to see your face, read your expressions, hear your voice, observe your body language - all those help me to really know someone. It allows me to get a baseline of what a person's "fine" is and helps me discern when something is off and not "fine". It's quite a fun gift - although my friends might tell you otherwise! (on a side note, it does come in handy when playing mafia). So, I have hard time, just sitting down and writing out my thoughts/feelings when I would MUCH rather do it sitting down with you all over coffee or dinner. Any takers? =)

WHAT I NEED FROM YOU! I promise I will try and sit down with Mr. Computer and share my thoughts, feelings, observations....BUT....only if all 2 or my readers promise to respond with comments so we can actually engage in conversation! Deal? (this the part where you say "deal!"). Sweet! Ya'll rock!

Reason #2 - I need to be able to be animated and expressive when I share! My vocabulary is WAY too limited to share EVERYTHING I would want to say to you with just words alone.

Because of my elementary vocabulary skills - I tend to be ALOT more animated when I share or tell a story. I jump up and down, squeal, pump fists, clap, make faces, use props, hand gestures (just this last week I had an "accidental boob graze" (from The Holiday in case you were wondering) at church of all places because I was flapping my hands around while I was telling a story! sooo embarrasing.

Sooo, I tell you all this ahead of time, because in my time of blog lurking I have come across some...how can I say it..."gifted and talented" blogs. You know the ones - where each and every blog post is so perfectly and eloquently written. Each word chosen with such precision and excellence by the author to paint a picture of absolute beauty on their blog page. Ummmmmm.....yeah....that kind of stuff WILL NOT go on here! haha. Seriously!!

SO BE WARNED! You will find that on this blog I write exactly like I would talk. You will see LOTS of exclamation points when I am excited or fired up about something, words drawn out for dramatic effect soooooooo get used to it, words in caps or bolded when I really want to stress something, and "...." when I am pausing (again maybe for dramatic effect - haha, what does that say about me?).

Reason # 3: Keeping up with a blog can become so time-consuming!!

I am going to be up-front with you from the beginning - I will NOT be updating this blog daily! There are some people I know who do, and I love you for it! But not me! Weekly updates? Maybe. But I make no promises! I will share with you all as I am able. I plan to be very cautious to not let this blog become consuming! If it even so much as hints at interfering with my relationship with the Lord - I will shut this puppy down right here! =)

Well....look at me! I have just about finished my FIRST blog entry ever....and it didn't kill me! wheeew! It was touch-and-go there for a bit! haha. Thank you to all 2 of you that are reading my blog - bless your hearts that you have to put up with my crazy, scattered thoughts! =) I look forward to blog journeying with you all!

Peace out!